The Truth

Saturday, February 21, 2009

I have been very cryptic over the last few months about the state of my affairs. I have left it at the spiritual struggles I have been experiencing as a result of a serious injury. I must admit, this is the real issue, the spiritual issue. In the end, it is who we are deep inside and not what others say or think about us.

On this journey, I have had to learn to remove myself from the chaos this injury has created in it's wake. I knew as soon as this happened, as soon as I found myself unable to walk or move without pain, that there were big lessons ahead of me. I was right. The last year has proven extraordinary in the way of personal growth. I have been forced to look deeply into myself and see what is true for me. Really true. The true that follows us from lifetime to lifetime, that influences future relationships. It is also the truth that our children see and adopt as habit, and thus the line continues throughout the generations of our family. When I left an abusive relationship many years ago, I remember telling my daughter we left because I did not want her to grow up believing this is how a man who loves you treats you. I told my son we left because I did not want him to think this is how you treat a woman you love.

I have been faced with the question of truth again. Honing the lesson of truth, I guess. As I watched former friends and colleagues spin their tales and tell their truths, I realized that truth is a private matter. Truth is between you and your angels. You and your God. You and the example you set for your children. It is not even about the children really, because they have free will and can chose to be different. It really is simply the truth. It is between you and God and no one else need be involved. Does it hurt when someone lies? Yes. Yet somehow, in the moment, I was able remove myself. I found myself praying to their angels, "Please let them tell the truth." Yet, it was not selfish. I just had this image of these souls as they laid their heads to rest that night. I was worried that they would have to battle these questions in the dark of the night, one on one with their God and the angels that help to guide them. I did not want them to suffer. Even after all of this, the injury, the isolation, the depression, the deep soul searching...I still found myself hoping they could escape some suffering. 

The other side of the coin is that everyone's truth is true. It is true for them. And, because it is private, it is real, true. The only thing we control is our own truth. It is OUR head that meets the pillow each night. It is OUR truth that must remain neutral and refrain from knowingly hurting others.  Truth is a private matter. When we are truthful with ourselves, the blessings can  spread and we can walk with love and confidence. The shifts that truth provides begins alone, but reaches far into our lives, touching each person we encounter...


Christopher Guilfoil said...

Courage for the truth is something we create together. Thank you for sharing your imagination of truth. When we form circles of truth seekers, or even individuals sharing their honest perspective, we create a vessel for the Big T; Truth. Finding a bit of the Big T then awakens us to responsibility, we have an insight about what to do. But it takes the one such as you P., who speaks her truth and begins to form that circle. I am encouraged by your vulnerability. Thanks.


Puanani said...

It truly is the hard days that require the most attention, but reap the endless blessings.