My nights have been filled with vivid dreams of things past and things future. I just can't seem to read the urgent news. I awake tired and spent from the nightly travels and yearn for a few more minutes of dark, dreamless rest. My memories have been flooding back to me in rushing torrents and waves. Faces, young and old, of my students flash before my heart and eyes. I feel relief and remorse. Failure and triumph. I want to run toward and away. Move back and then rush to the next chapter. Everything in my life reminds me of my time with my students, in every corner, something takes me back and moves my heart. The only thing I do not know, is how to proceed in the present. I find myself wandering the empty house without purpose. There are things that can be done, I just can't reach them, physically, spiritually. I want to walk in the other direction, onward, alone, if I turn to look back, I fear I will turn into a pillar of salt. I would be stuck with my past, unchanged, unexamined. But, oh, the fire of change! I yearn for the sulphuric experience. Burn the past, release the gaseous memories to the air, transform the carbon into ash, dissolve it in the waters of life, and the salt of earth rises once again. A resurrection of soul, memory and wholeness.