Freesias, Poppies, Pansies. Oh my!

These are straight out of the camera. They require little introduction.

Peaks and Valleys

I have been avoiding my thoughts by digging in the soil, planting vegetables, flowers and herbs. It has worked. Until today. Today, my heart is heavy and my limbs barely move. The garden calls to me. I ignore her. The phone rings. I ignore it.  The wind gently calls, but I can barely  hear it, I can't feel it. I guess this would be a valley. 

The days working the garden, hearing the wind, watching the plants grow, the sun penetrating my skin; this would be a peak. Today is not a peak day. 

Maybe tomorrow will be a peak day. Maybe the next valley is so far in the distance that I can't even see it. Let's hope.

Addition:

So I finally forced myself outside. Do you know what my biggest problem is right now? I can't pick all of the pansies and freesias fast enough. There are vases of flowers in almost every room. It would appear that my valley certainly has a few peaks... 

What I did this weekend...

We spent the weekend building soil sifters, preparing garden beds and a general cleaning of a winter of birth and death. When I say,"We," I use that term very loosely...Some times, I am not actually even present! Peas, cucumbers, eggplant, herbs and tomatoes were planted in the new beds. I am very optimistic! Will share more later...

Ripped Away From the Garden

Last year at this time, I was hoping for insurance approval for a back surgery. I could do nothing more than lie on my back, looking straight up at the ceiling. Still needs to be painted, by the way.

This spring, I am able to plant seedlings and paint flowers on bed borders. I can hoe a little and plant a little. I have to be careful not to overdue. I want to crouch down and sink my hands in the dark earth, play with the worms and notice the baby praying mantis make his way up the lavender bush. Yet, now I am more mindful of my body, my back. I am learning that this life is not meant to break our back. We must learn to support ourselves, physically and spiritually. For many years, I have worked so hard, mindlessly, really, to please others. Through this back breaking injury, I have gained some clarity. This humanness, is not meant to be frittered away doing work that injures us, or others. Even work that seems fulfilling can be deceiving. The only voice that counts is the sweet whisper we hear when all is quiet. It is an important tool, honing that hearing aid. The voice is so slight, so pure and at a tone we can only hear when our hearts are open and our ego is otherwise occupied.

I have been hearing it in the garden as I greet the worms, welcome the butterflies and call to the honeybees. Yesterday, a blustery wind blew through the valley. At first, bringing heavy rain and wind. As the rain clouds emptied, the sky appeared in all of it's glory. Fluffy clouds with hints of pink and gray, silver and heaven danced above our heads. The wind blew in blustery gusts, clearing the air, washing away that which the rain had missed. 

I am itching to go out to plant the eggplant and cucumbers. Please do not forget about the 100th Post Give Away. Leave a comment of one of your magic moments. I will pick a random winner on Thursday evening. I will iron, fold and pack it away to some lucky lover of magic moments!

It was recently Billy Collins' birthday. I leave you with one of my favorites:


On Turning Ten

The whole idea of it makes me feel
like I'm coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
or the headaches I get from reading in bad light--
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chicken pox of the soul.

You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit.
At four I was an Arabian wizard.
I could make myself invisible
by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.
At seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.

But now I am mostly at the window
watching the late afternoon light.
Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,
and my bicycle never leaned against the garage
as it does today,
all the dark blue speed drained out of it.

This is the beginning of sadness, I say to myself,
as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.
It is time to say good-bye to my imaginary friends,
time to turn the first big number.

It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
If you cut me I could shine.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees. I bleed.

Billy Collins

Lichen Gnome

I simply could NOT leave this wee gnome behind. Not only does his stump match my striving plum tree, but it also has matching lichen on the stump. Just like MY tree. The clincher, his left hand is behind his back and his fingers are crossed. That sly little gnome, what fib is he hiding? I had to bring him home, because there is something so tasty about a mischievous gnome hanging out in the garden. Oh, don't forget to look at his "furry" boots. One more garden gnome and I will officially be known as Crazy Garden Gnome lady by the neighborhood children...

100th Post Giveaway!

So, I finally found a moment to get out of the garden and take a photo of the GIVEAWAY gift. It is a vintage hankie, hand embroidered with a quote from "A Street Car Named Desire."  I have been using my time in doctor's waiting rooms to hone my stitchin' skills. 

As a gift to all of you that have been visiting me and encouraging me in this deep transition, I want to say thanks. Thank you  for your comments and sweet words, they are all taken in and warmed in my heart. 

Leave a comment about a magic moment in your life. I will announce the winner next week, Thursday! Good luck!

This is an interim post while I get out of the garden 100th post coming soon

I have been tagged by Circe. I have never done one of these, secretly, I was envious that I never had been asked. Let us see how this goes...

What is your current obsession? Working in the garden, I can't stop. The family had to pull me in last night because it was getting dark. Then, in the house, all I could think about was what I would do tomorrow!

What are you wearing now? A pink nightie with rosebuds and cotton lace. I am still in bed, it is early...

Who was the last person you hugged? My teen man/boy. He has to bend over about seven inches to reach me.

If you were a tree, what tree would you be? A mango tree, easy.

What's for dinner? Brown rice, mung dal and homemade chapatis. With a little mango pickle.

What was the last thing you bought? Oh, my. I hit a thrift store that is closing it's doors. I bought a green and black vintage coat, sweet English plates, a box of ric-rac, (Have I mentioned how much I love ric-rac?) Crazy Bakelite sunglasses for my daughter and loads of vintage bark, cloth, linen, a jar of vintage buttons and a beautiful vintage pipe tobacco tin. You asked.

What are you listening to right now? The morning birdsong and the wind.

What is your favorite weather? Sweet, sweet spring like days. Warm sun soaked summer days and cold grey rain.

What is on your bedside table? The Keeper of the Bees, the camera and a vase of fressias from the yard.

What is your most challenging goal right now? To be at peace with some of the choices I have been free to make and some I have been forced to make.

Say something to the person who tagged you: I love your warm, sweet energy and am I so happy to have made contact and share with you our musings...

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished, where do you want it to be? Carpinteria, CA 

Favorite Vacation Spot? Italy

Name the things you cannot live without: My loves, a bit of earth to dig in, art, water, for starters...

What would you like to have in your hands right now? A hoe

What is your favorite fragrance? I make an oil from geranium, bergamot and a dash of patchouli. I keep it in a vile in my purse. It makes me feel like an alchemist.

What is your favorite/favourite tea flavor/flavour? Coconut Pouchong for iced. Caramel Rooibos with raw honey and cream, hot. I could drink an ENTIRE pot!

Here is a second question I've added; when it's time to brew tea, what do you use? Kettle, fresh water, warmed pot.

What would you like to get rid of? Regret, self-doubt.

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go? India

If you could have your portrait painted/made by any famous artist from any era, who would you choose? This is a tough one. Pissaro, or my friend Chris.

What is your favorite time of day? Early morning, the moment just before everyone begins to wake...

The Rules:

1. Respond and rework; answer the questions on your blog, replace one question you dislike with a question of your own invention, add one more questions of your own. (I cheated; I left all the questions and added 1, so you may omit 2 if you like, and still add one or more of your own.)

2 . Tag eight other untagged people. (And I say, "Or more. Or less!")


These are the people I'd like to have play, Kristin Lea, Betty,  Stacy,  Emily, Denise, Liz  if they'd like to! Even though his blog is not really inclined towards such things, I'd like to tag Chris It's still a fun way to be introspective... even if you don't publicly play. Still, it'd be grand if you did.

Have fun! Homemade giveaway coming soon! I promise.