To The Sea and Back

Perhaps, I put too much hope into the sea and the effect it has always had upon me. Perhaps, I did not stay long enough at the shore. I felt as though I had to will my burdens into the silky waters. At one point, I was begging the sea to take my troubles. I left, hoping for the best. I have heard that the 40 year mark in one's life indicates, geographically, at least, you are as far away from the spiritual world as one can possibly be. A sad thought. Yet, this is how I have been feeling the last year or so. I consulted a person who has deeper connections to the spiritual realm than myself. She assured me, that even though I feel far away, all of my angels and helpers and guides, are there. It is just harder to hear what they are saying. This has been my experience. I ask, but the voices are whispered more softly, or maybe my head is so full of living and learning that I cannot hear over the din.

My resolve is to clean house. Not my sweet little French country house, but my real house. I suppose it is time to clear away the cobwebs of doubt and regret. I need to unearth the bright and shining treasures that have illuminated my life; the golden orbs that have propelled me thus far. Over the next few weeks, I will be scrubbing and sorting, resting when I need to. I will attempt to keep only that which is necessary. I feel as though I am off on an archaeological dig. I know there have been joys that have filled my soul, vistas that have brought me to tears and words filled with love and deep kindness. I can not wait to see them again.