This Part

Thursday, July 28, 2011

I don't know why I don't want to write this part...It was a good time. The Phone Call came at this point. The one I had always hoped would come. The children's father called in desperation when he realized that this time, I was indeed moving on. It was over. He tried all of his old addict manipulative behaviors, but I was immune. During the Phone Call, his voice changed, it became sweet and soft, like in our early days. "You are my best friend..." he whispered. In a sure and steady voice I replied, "Next time, you should treat your friends a little bit better." I hung up.

Over the next several months, after mediation and time, we tried to be "normal." He would try to pick up the children on the weekend, but he was never consistent and then one day he looked weird. My gut told me to keep the children with me. I had to be insistent but calm. I didn't remember my eight year old daughter standing there, overhearing my defense of their safety. A few weeks ago(she is on the cusp of turning 21) she told me she has always remembered that moment, the moment I protected her, kept her safe. She told me how she thought I was so brave. I remember feeling brave, confident. I am so glad she witnessed that moment.

Many years later, she was brave. She was brave when she stood up to that father who hurt her and left her and promised birthday gifts that would never come and phone calls that never rang through...She was brave when she told him he was nothing to her. She needed nothing, wanted nothing from him. Maybe, in this part, I was brave to show her how to be...